Ok, ok... so I'm a day early, but I just couldn't wait another day to post... I figure it will only be better tomorrow, so there's no harm in posting Month 1 results one day early...
From June 30th to July 30th I have lost 21 pounds! My goal was to lose 20 pounds by July 31, so I think I totally rocked it!
My C25K training is going amazingly well! Today I ran 8 minutes, walked 5 minutes, then ran 8 minutes. I can't believe that only 4 weeks ago I struggled to run for a whole minute straight!
With each passing day this is getting easier and easier for me. Don't get me wrong, there are still times that are hard, but I feel like I'm Hitting My Stride with the whole "healthier living" thing.
And I know I've said this before, but I really couldn't do this without all the support I've been given. It really is incredible! Thank you so much! In my mind, you are as much a part of my success as I am. Please keep it coming!
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
The Journey Continues... I'm just getting started...
I've related my journey to a road trip a couple of times before on my blog. On a road trip, there are a number of ways to track progress, whether it's miles traveled, time spent on the trip, the distance yet to travel, gas stops left, etc. etc. Similarly, there are a number of ways that I can track my progress on my journey. I want to reiterate that although my blog is called a weight loss journey, the weight loss is not the final destination, just like a road trip is less about the time spent on the road and more about arriving at the destination. My weight is one way for me to track my progress. There are many others which are just as important, if not as easily measured.
Yesterday I completed my 4th week of my C25K training. Each day was a mental and physical battle, but my mind and my body won out. I'm almost shocked in what I'm able to do now as compared to my first week of training. This is evidence of the progress I've made.
Today, for the first time in months, I played Ultimate Frisbee. If you don't know me that well, you may not know that I'm love playing Ultimate Frisbee more than most anything else. I'm not particularly good, but I have played a lot and I can hold my own. However, for the past couple of years I haven't enjoyed it as much as I had in the past. Too often I tried to play when I was very out of shape and it made it really hard for me. Today was different. I'm still out of shape and it's still a bit hard for me, but I noticed that it wasn't quite as bad as it's been for me the past couple of years. This is evidence of the progress I've made.
The month of July has been one of the best months for me in a while. I haven't felt this good emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally in a while. I attribute this to the changes in behavior I have made over the past month. This is one of the biggest evidences of the progress I've made.
And finally, the scale. Despite not seeing the progress every day that I'd like to see, I have certainly made great progress on the scale. I've lost 17 pounds since June 30th! I set a goal on July 1st to lose 20 pounds by the end of the month, and I've just about made it. It's in sight and I think I can do it. The next celebration that comes after hitting the 20 pound mark will be the day that I first weigh in under 300 pounds. I anticipate that day happening in the first week of August. Again, evidence of the progress I've made.
And you, yes you, have played a huge role in my progress. Let me demonstrate what I mean... Yesterday, as I was almost finished with my run, I doubted if I would be able to complete my workout. I was sorely tempted to say to myself, "You've done a good job. You can stop running now and feel fine about yourself." Immediately I thought how cool it would be if there were people lined up on the trail cheering me on. But then I realized that although there weren't people literally there on the trail cheering me on, I did in fact have a huge support group behind me. Every page view, every like, every private message, every comment, every kind word of encouragement in person, every text message, every phone call I have received this month really helped me to keep moving. I honestly felt at that point that there were people pushing me forward. It got easier, and not just because I started running down a hill...
Thank you so much! Please, please don't give up on me...
Yesterday I completed my 4th week of my C25K training. Each day was a mental and physical battle, but my mind and my body won out. I'm almost shocked in what I'm able to do now as compared to my first week of training. This is evidence of the progress I've made.
Today, for the first time in months, I played Ultimate Frisbee. If you don't know me that well, you may not know that I'm love playing Ultimate Frisbee more than most anything else. I'm not particularly good, but I have played a lot and I can hold my own. However, for the past couple of years I haven't enjoyed it as much as I had in the past. Too often I tried to play when I was very out of shape and it made it really hard for me. Today was different. I'm still out of shape and it's still a bit hard for me, but I noticed that it wasn't quite as bad as it's been for me the past couple of years. This is evidence of the progress I've made.
The month of July has been one of the best months for me in a while. I haven't felt this good emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally in a while. I attribute this to the changes in behavior I have made over the past month. This is one of the biggest evidences of the progress I've made.
And finally, the scale. Despite not seeing the progress every day that I'd like to see, I have certainly made great progress on the scale. I've lost 17 pounds since June 30th! I set a goal on July 1st to lose 20 pounds by the end of the month, and I've just about made it. It's in sight and I think I can do it. The next celebration that comes after hitting the 20 pound mark will be the day that I first weigh in under 300 pounds. I anticipate that day happening in the first week of August. Again, evidence of the progress I've made.
And you, yes you, have played a huge role in my progress. Let me demonstrate what I mean... Yesterday, as I was almost finished with my run, I doubted if I would be able to complete my workout. I was sorely tempted to say to myself, "You've done a good job. You can stop running now and feel fine about yourself." Immediately I thought how cool it would be if there were people lined up on the trail cheering me on. But then I realized that although there weren't people literally there on the trail cheering me on, I did in fact have a huge support group behind me. Every page view, every like, every private message, every comment, every kind word of encouragement in person, every text message, every phone call I have received this month really helped me to keep moving. I honestly felt at that point that there were people pushing me forward. It got easier, and not just because I started running down a hill...
Thank you so much! Please, please don't give up on me...
Monday, July 21, 2014
The Little Engine That Could and Other Musings
Several days ago I was at my sister's house after going for a walk. I was playing with my nephew (21 months old) when he grabbed my hand, made me sit down, and gave me a book to read to him. It happened to be a rendition of the story of The Little Engine That Could. The story, long since forgotten from my childhood, came back to me with new meanings - especially pertaining to this journey. I've written before about winning mental battles and the benefits of positive attitude. So many times while I've been out doing my C25K training, I have basically chanted to myself, "I think I can, I think I can." And it really does work.
Yet at other times while I run I feel like this:
When I was in High School I decided I was going to start playing the piano. At that point, I had been in band for several years and I already knew how to read music and I knew the corresponding keys on the piano. For me, learning to play was just a matter of taking the time to sit down and play (practice). Though I'm no concert pianist today, I can play most of the things that I want to play. When I first started playing it took every ounce of my cognitive processing ability to focus on playing something close to that which was on the printed music sheet. But as I spent more time playing the piano in general, and playing particular pieces over and over, I found that I had to do very little thinking and focusing on what I was actually doing. I was able to let my mind wander as I played.
Today while I ran a similar thing happened. Week 4's C25K training has me jog for 3 min, walk 90 sec, jog 5 min, walk 2.5 min, jog 3 min, walk 90 sec, and then jog 5 min. Similar to last week, I was nervous about making the jump from jogging for 3 minutes straight to jogging for 5 minutes straight. I had to tell myself, "I think I can, I think I can!" And now I can tell myself, "I know I can," because I did it! But what stood out to me even more was that on my last 5 minute run I was able to focus on more than just my jogging and my body. I was able to let my mind wander as I ran. This is a huge thing for me! For years I have said I don't like running because the whole time I run I seem to think about how sore I am, how much such-and-such body part hurts, or how out of breath I am. But today, during one of my long (for me...) jogs I was able to not think about those things and just relax and enjoy the beautiful day and my run and appreciate my new-found abilities. It felt very good!
I know that it's been a few days since I've posted. I've actually been using some new tools to aid me in my journey for the past week or so. I prefaced telling my sister about these tools by saying to her, "I like technology." She laughed at me. I guess it is quite an understatement to say that I like technology. I love it. I think it's awesome and I'm blown away by the things that we can do with technology. I recently learned about fitness trackers and I decided that I would get one. I ended up getting the Fitbit Flex, which I absolutely love so far. The flex helps me to track my steps/distance each day as well as helping to track sleeping patterns. I also invested in the Fitbit Aria which is a smart scale that uses WiFi to automatically sync with my Fitbit profile. With the Fitbit software tracking my activity and weight, I have one place to track the things that I've been focusing on in this journey. I am also able to enter in to Fitbit the food that I eat, so it provides a very good picture of my activities, my eating, my sleeping, and my weight. The best part though is that these tools help to get me up and moving each day. Each day I have a goal to take about 10,000 steps (or about 5 miles) and I've been doing things like parking as far away as I can in a parking lot, or taking random extra walking trips for whatever reasons. I'm feeling very good about these investments right now.
Here's a picture of on of my meals from last week. It was the first time I've cooked shrimp before and it turned out amazing. It almost makes me not want to buy shrimp any other way ever again. It's a spicy garlic and lime shrimp. I started by putting about 3/4 tablespoon of olive oil in the wok and then adding a couple of cloves of fresh minced garlic. I added the shrimp and the seasoning (about 1/4 teaspoon of each of the following: salt, pepper, chili powder, basil, oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, and probably some other stuff that I can't think of right now). I added some fresh chopped green bell peppers, some fresh cherry tomatoes, and juice from 1/2 of a small lime. I then added the Hokkien noodles and let the shrimp finish cooking. It turned out excellent!
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This past weekend was especially full of eating victories for me. My family (all 8 of my siblings included, as well as others) and I celebrated with my sister, her husband, and their son who were sealed together in the Bountiful Temple. There were so many opportunities, whether at restaurants or just at gatherings, to eat and eat and eat. And not just eat, but eat a lot of things that would not have helped me to achieve my goals. I was able to stay strong and feel good about myself, even if it meant moving away from the dessert table so that I wouldn't be so tempted. In all, it was an amazing weekend and I felt victorious! (here's a picture of the nine kids at the temple)
Since June 30th I've walked/run over 62 miles! And I've lost about 14 pounds! Am I rocking this or what?
Yet at other times while I run I feel like this:
When I was in High School I decided I was going to start playing the piano. At that point, I had been in band for several years and I already knew how to read music and I knew the corresponding keys on the piano. For me, learning to play was just a matter of taking the time to sit down and play (practice). Though I'm no concert pianist today, I can play most of the things that I want to play. When I first started playing it took every ounce of my cognitive processing ability to focus on playing something close to that which was on the printed music sheet. But as I spent more time playing the piano in general, and playing particular pieces over and over, I found that I had to do very little thinking and focusing on what I was actually doing. I was able to let my mind wander as I played.
Today while I ran a similar thing happened. Week 4's C25K training has me jog for 3 min, walk 90 sec, jog 5 min, walk 2.5 min, jog 3 min, walk 90 sec, and then jog 5 min. Similar to last week, I was nervous about making the jump from jogging for 3 minutes straight to jogging for 5 minutes straight. I had to tell myself, "I think I can, I think I can!" And now I can tell myself, "I know I can," because I did it! But what stood out to me even more was that on my last 5 minute run I was able to focus on more than just my jogging and my body. I was able to let my mind wander as I ran. This is a huge thing for me! For years I have said I don't like running because the whole time I run I seem to think about how sore I am, how much such-and-such body part hurts, or how out of breath I am. But today, during one of my long (for me...) jogs I was able to not think about those things and just relax and enjoy the beautiful day and my run and appreciate my new-found abilities. It felt very good!
I know that it's been a few days since I've posted. I've actually been using some new tools to aid me in my journey for the past week or so. I prefaced telling my sister about these tools by saying to her, "I like technology." She laughed at me. I guess it is quite an understatement to say that I like technology. I love it. I think it's awesome and I'm blown away by the things that we can do with technology. I recently learned about fitness trackers and I decided that I would get one. I ended up getting the Fitbit Flex, which I absolutely love so far. The flex helps me to track my steps/distance each day as well as helping to track sleeping patterns. I also invested in the Fitbit Aria which is a smart scale that uses WiFi to automatically sync with my Fitbit profile. With the Fitbit software tracking my activity and weight, I have one place to track the things that I've been focusing on in this journey. I am also able to enter in to Fitbit the food that I eat, so it provides a very good picture of my activities, my eating, my sleeping, and my weight. The best part though is that these tools help to get me up and moving each day. Each day I have a goal to take about 10,000 steps (or about 5 miles) and I've been doing things like parking as far away as I can in a parking lot, or taking random extra walking trips for whatever reasons. I'm feeling very good about these investments right now.
Here's a picture of on of my meals from last week. It was the first time I've cooked shrimp before and it turned out amazing. It almost makes me not want to buy shrimp any other way ever again. It's a spicy garlic and lime shrimp. I started by putting about 3/4 tablespoon of olive oil in the wok and then adding a couple of cloves of fresh minced garlic. I added the shrimp and the seasoning (about 1/4 teaspoon of each of the following: salt, pepper, chili powder, basil, oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, and probably some other stuff that I can't think of right now). I added some fresh chopped green bell peppers, some fresh cherry tomatoes, and juice from 1/2 of a small lime. I then added the Hokkien noodles and let the shrimp finish cooking. It turned out excellent!
This past weekend was especially full of eating victories for me. My family (all 8 of my siblings included, as well as others) and I celebrated with my sister, her husband, and their son who were sealed together in the Bountiful Temple. There were so many opportunities, whether at restaurants or just at gatherings, to eat and eat and eat. And not just eat, but eat a lot of things that would not have helped me to achieve my goals. I was able to stay strong and feel good about myself, even if it meant moving away from the dessert table so that I wouldn't be so tempted. In all, it was an amazing weekend and I felt victorious! (here's a picture of the nine kids at the temple)
Since June 30th I've walked/run over 62 miles! And I've lost about 14 pounds! Am I rocking this or what?
Thursday, July 17, 2014
One Day Two Milestones
I hit 10 pounds lost today!
I passed the 50 miles of workout distance today!
All since June 30th!
Holla!
I passed the 50 miles of workout distance today!
All since June 30th!
Holla!
Monday, July 14, 2014
Hitting My Stride
Today's workout was Epic. And please, trust me, I NEVER (save in this case) use EPIC to describe things. So that being said, I'll say it again; Today's workout was EPIC.
I was super nervous about today's requirements for my C25K. Today was the start of week 3 of training. Week 1 had me doing 8 reps of running 60 seconds and then walking for 90 seconds. Week 2 was 6 reps of 90 seconds of running and then 2 minutes of walking. Week 3 called for 2 reps of 90 seconds running, 90 seconds walking, 3 minutes running, and 3 minutes walking.
I was totally nervous about staying in running (let's be real here: jogging) motion for 3 straight minutes. During my 5 minute warm up period I was fighting the mental battle. I kept telling myself that I could do it. I admitted it was hard, but I told my self that I was capable of completing the workout. I reminded myself that yesterday I walked 5 miles. I told myself that if I can walk 5 miles I can run for 3 minutes straight. And I was right. It was incredible! But it wasn't quite EPIC... yet...
Starting this past week I've had a goal go at least 3 miles every day, even on the days when I do C25K. C25K training comes out to be about 30 minutes each day. And I'm definitely not running (er, jogging) 3 miles in 30 minutes. It comes out to be closer to 1.5 miles, so I'm left to walk the rest of the distance. Today was no different, but I decided I wanted to push myself...
At the end of my last run on my last rep I decided to give it everything I had. Usually when I jog I hold back significantly in order to maintain my pace and finish the required running time. But I let go. I ran fast. Then I sprinted for as long as I could. When I stopped I was so tired winded, but since I still had about 1.5 miles to go I eventually recovered. Even though my workout was "complete" I decided that I would continue. I ran several more times. I would tell myself "I'll start [at such and such place] and I'll run until [such and such place]" It worked. Every time I met my goal.
Here is the Epic Part! I continued this extra running for the rest of my 3 miles. Now, I wasn't running at any record breaking pace, but it was most definitely a running motion. My heart rate was elevated and my breathing was increased. I got to a point that I knew was about 1/2 mile from my car. I started running again. This time though, I decided I would run until I could run no more. As before, I started spotting distant points and told myself that I would run until then. But as I reached each point I just continued to run. I found that I was going at a pace that I could maintain! I had hit my stride! I ran (jogged) for 1/2 mile without stopping! And please, before you think that this isn't an accomplishment, remember these things: I'm over 300 pounds [do you know how much energy it takes to move 300 pounds around?]! I have around 40% body fat! I'm not a runner! I've only been running for 2 weeks! 2 weeks ago it was all I could do to run for 60 seconds straight!
It was amazing! I could have kept going, but I had gotten to my car and it was 9:35 PM and almost completely dark! I seriously can't wait to get back out there and push myself to really see what I am capable of doing! Another mental battle won. And definitely a physical battle too.
I was super nervous about today's requirements for my C25K. Today was the start of week 3 of training. Week 1 had me doing 8 reps of running 60 seconds and then walking for 90 seconds. Week 2 was 6 reps of 90 seconds of running and then 2 minutes of walking. Week 3 called for 2 reps of 90 seconds running, 90 seconds walking, 3 minutes running, and 3 minutes walking.
I was totally nervous about staying in running (let's be real here: jogging) motion for 3 straight minutes. During my 5 minute warm up period I was fighting the mental battle. I kept telling myself that I could do it. I admitted it was hard, but I told my self that I was capable of completing the workout. I reminded myself that yesterday I walked 5 miles. I told myself that if I can walk 5 miles I can run for 3 minutes straight. And I was right. It was incredible! But it wasn't quite EPIC... yet...
Starting this past week I've had a goal go at least 3 miles every day, even on the days when I do C25K. C25K training comes out to be about 30 minutes each day. And I'm definitely not running (er, jogging) 3 miles in 30 minutes. It comes out to be closer to 1.5 miles, so I'm left to walk the rest of the distance. Today was no different, but I decided I wanted to push myself...
At the end of my last run on my last rep I decided to give it everything I had. Usually when I jog I hold back significantly in order to maintain my pace and finish the required running time. But I let go. I ran fast. Then I sprinted for as long as I could. When I stopped I was so tired winded, but since I still had about 1.5 miles to go I eventually recovered. Even though my workout was "complete" I decided that I would continue. I ran several more times. I would tell myself "I'll start [at such and such place] and I'll run until [such and such place]" It worked. Every time I met my goal.
Here is the Epic Part! I continued this extra running for the rest of my 3 miles. Now, I wasn't running at any record breaking pace, but it was most definitely a running motion. My heart rate was elevated and my breathing was increased. I got to a point that I knew was about 1/2 mile from my car. I started running again. This time though, I decided I would run until I could run no more. As before, I started spotting distant points and told myself that I would run until then. But as I reached each point I just continued to run. I found that I was going at a pace that I could maintain! I had hit my stride! I ran (jogged) for 1/2 mile without stopping! And please, before you think that this isn't an accomplishment, remember these things: I'm over 300 pounds [do you know how much energy it takes to move 300 pounds around?]! I have around 40% body fat! I'm not a runner! I've only been running for 2 weeks! 2 weeks ago it was all I could do to run for 60 seconds straight!
It was amazing! I could have kept going, but I had gotten to my car and it was 9:35 PM and almost completely dark! I seriously can't wait to get back out there and push myself to really see what I am capable of doing! Another mental battle won. And definitely a physical battle too.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Is This Turning In to a Food Blog? Is That Really a Bad Thing?
As I mentioned last week, I like to not be bored with my food choices each day. This helps me to stay motivated, excited, and on track. Today I decided I was in the mood for burritos for dinner. I started searching online to get ideas. I quickly decided I wanted something with black beans and avocado. I soon happened upon this site with a recipe that I used as my inspiration. I ended up making steak, kale, black bean, and avocado salsa verde burritos. I basically followed the recipes on the linked website to make everything but the steak. I used sirloin tip steak, which I heard was one of the leanest. I cut the steak into strips and I seasoned the steak with salt, pepper, and chili powder, and marinaded it in lime juice, garlic, and salsa verde. It took about 4 mins to cook on my stove top cast iron skillet. The steak was divine! The burritos turned out to be very fresh, delicious, and light. If I make these again in the future I'm going to probably half the amount of lime that's called for in the avocado salsa verde.
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One of my favorite parts of this meal was that each burrito was only 400-450 calories! I actually forgot to put the brown rice in my first burrito, but even if I had I would have ended up with a lot of left over rice. I ate the extra rice with some of the avocado salsa verde and kale. The 400-450 calories actually accounts for the rice I ate afterward, so the #calorie/burrito was actually lower. In all (2 burritos + extra rice etc.) was about 850 calories. Not bad for a meal that included tortillas, beans, rice, avocado, and steak!
My exercise plan continues to do me well. Today was a training day for the 5K using the C25K. On the days that I don't do the C25K I still walk. My goal each day is to go at least 3 miles whether I'm doing C25K or not. It's still pushing me, but each day feels better and better. This was today's run/walk as tracked by the RunKeeper App.
One of my favorite parts of this meal was that each burrito was only 400-450 calories! I actually forgot to put the brown rice in my first burrito, but even if I had I would have ended up with a lot of left over rice. I ate the extra rice with some of the avocado salsa verde and kale. The 400-450 calories actually accounts for the rice I ate afterward, so the #calorie/burrito was actually lower. In all (2 burritos + extra rice etc.) was about 850 calories. Not bad for a meal that included tortillas, beans, rice, avocado, and steak!
My exercise plan continues to do me well. Today was a training day for the 5K using the C25K. On the days that I don't do the C25K I still walk. My goal each day is to go at least 3 miles whether I'm doing C25K or not. It's still pushing me, but each day feels better and better. This was today's run/walk as tracked by the RunKeeper App.
Since I started my exercise plan on 6/30, I have walked/run over 30 miles! As I said before, each day just gets easier! I'm nervous about being ready for a 5K come the beginning of September, but that's still the goal that I'm working towards.
And thanks again to all of you for your support, encouragement, public and private messages, and your love and your prayers. I truly wouldn't be able to do this without your support! Thank you!
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Day 10 Update
What a great day!
I continued with my C25K training today. Last week my C25K training consisted of 8 sets of 60 seconds running then 90 seconds walking with bookends of 5 minute warm-up/cool-down periods. This week the training is 6 sets of 90 seconds of running then 2 minutes of walking with the 5 minute bookends. Today was the easiest day of training I've had so far. I felt so good that instead of starting my 5 minute cool down walk I decided to run another set. I pushed myself super hard to run the longest, fastest, and hardest of the day. When I was done with my C25K training for the day I turned around and walked the 1.8 miles back to my car. In total I walked/ran 3.6 miles!
In the morning I started marinating my pork loin that I was going to have for dinner. As my marinade came together I noticed that it was going Asian style: garlic, ginger, and soy sauce, and sriracha. So I decided to make some stir fry. My stir fry consisted of pork, celery, cabbage, carrots, red bell peppers, snow peas, and hokkien noodles. I used my marinade as the sauce for the stir fry. It was a very fresh dish and it tasted wonderful!
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As I mentioned yesterday, I'm now using My Fitness Pal to help me to track my health goals. They have a fantastic Calorie counter tool that has a huge database of foods. They make it so simple that basically all you need to know is how much you ate of whatever food and it enters all the nutritional info into your diary. You can also track exercise and weight on the website. They even have an app (which I haven't used yet). This is my personalized ticker that shows my current progress. Pretty cool, eh?
I continued with my C25K training today. Last week my C25K training consisted of 8 sets of 60 seconds running then 90 seconds walking with bookends of 5 minute warm-up/cool-down periods. This week the training is 6 sets of 90 seconds of running then 2 minutes of walking with the 5 minute bookends. Today was the easiest day of training I've had so far. I felt so good that instead of starting my 5 minute cool down walk I decided to run another set. I pushed myself super hard to run the longest, fastest, and hardest of the day. When I was done with my C25K training for the day I turned around and walked the 1.8 miles back to my car. In total I walked/ran 3.6 miles!
As I mentioned yesterday, I'm now using My Fitness Pal to help me to track my health goals. They have a fantastic Calorie counter tool that has a huge database of foods. They make it so simple that basically all you need to know is how much you ate of whatever food and it enters all the nutritional info into your diary. You can also track exercise and weight on the website. They even have an app (which I haven't used yet). This is my personalized ticker that shows my current progress. Pretty cool, eh?
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Vehicle Changes
When you're a member of a large family that takes summer vacations to distant states you've been on your fair share of road trips. Most of these road trips involved driving to Utah (from the East coast) for Family Reunion. On at least 2 such trips to Utah there were van problems which required repairs and/or rental vehicles to complete the trip. But those accommodations were made and the trips were successfully completed.
Sometimes in life we need to make repair and replacement stops. Already, at this early point of my journey, I need to make a stop and change vehicles. I anticipate that this change will allow me to both complete the journey and to find joy in the journey.
Previously, I had set a goal to use the TSFL program which includes 5 replacement meals a day and one "Lean and Green" meal. In all, this diet amounts to about 1200 calories/ day. I found that my failures with the program revolved around feeling desperately hungry at the end of the and. This hunger often led to binge eating episodes. Some of these episodes could contain up to 4700 Calories! I do believe in the TSFL program and I feel that it's very helpful to a lot of people, but right now I think it's not the right thing for me to do.
But that doesn't mean I still can't maintain a better diet! Here's the new diet (as in, what my diet consists of, not, "I'm going on a diet") plan: I'm going to eat a healthy number of calories (I'm shooting for around 2200) each day focusing on fresh fruits and vegetable and lean to leaner proteins. I will use My Fitness Pal to help track my calorie intake each day as well as my exercise. This plan may not make me lose as much weight for me in the short run, but in the long run, since it is more maintainable, I see this being a much better vehicle to a longer lasting healthier lifestyle change.
I also see myself enjoying this journey a lot more. Sometimes we forget that part. We forget that there's joy to be had here and now - Today - not just at the end of the road.
Despite my issues in the diet department, my exercise plan is working great! From last Monday through today I've walked/run over 20 miles! I'm in the middle of week 2 of the Couch to 5k training program, and I'm excited about the progress I've made there. Here's a record from my walk from today.
Update and Adjustments
(WARNING: The following post contains personal information about my life. If you don't want to know more about my personal life stop reading!)
It's been a few days since my last update. Some people, sometimes including me, have wondered if I have completed or given up on my journey. I have not. I'm still trekking, but I'm realizing I have to make some adjustments.
Expectations. Expectations can be tough. Expectations can propel people, but sometimes they can be hinder. Right now because I'm not meeting my expectations I'm finding it hard to keep moving. The silly thing is even though I'm not meeting my (perhaps unrealistic) expectations I'm still making good progress. I have lost 5 pounds in the past week and I'm sticking to my workout routine (C25K). I've had victories, but I'm not meeting my expectations...
So what are my expectations? Well, I guess the easy answer to this are my stated goals. But it's not quite that easy... I guess one way to put it is that I have secret goals or secret expectations: Perfection. Newsflash: I'M NOT PERFECT! So despite doing well on some of my goals, and sometimes falling short on others I get discouraged and want to stop moving. It's not like I have consciously set these goals, but I still expect myself to live up to my stated goals perfectly. But I am not.
Sometimes my journey seems like I've stated that I'm going to walk to the moon, or some other ridiculous goal. Maybe walking to the moon is possible, but I certainly don't know how to do it, and for me it is impossible. But is eating well and exercising for me really equivalent to walking to the moon? Perhaps not, but sometimes it sure feels like it.
Last time I was serious about living a healthier lifestyle and followed through for about 9 days I learned something about myself. I learned that I have an eating disorder. I am a compulsive over-eater or binge eater. I didn't even know this was a real thing until I started trying to figure out why I was doing what I was doing: Eating enormous meals - eating until I was painfully full - almost daily. We're talking about meals of up to 4700 calories! Almost in one sitting, and of course always alone... I would do this one day and then be in pain and say to myself that I would never do it again... and then I would do it the next day. I discovered what is known as Compulsive Overeating or Binge Eating. The symptoms I found are as follows and come from nationaleatingdisorders.org:
pretty very well. Additionally there are mental and emotional characteristics that describe me all too well. Granted, this is all self-diagnosed, but I think I'm pretty good at knowing, identifying, and objectively thinking about my behaviors and emotional states (at least after the fact).
In my research I learned that treating eating disorders is most effective when coupled with counseling. But sometimes I think it just comes down to self-control issues. I think I should be able to control myself, but I'm continuing to prove to myself that this isn't the case. I guess this "journey" is a last ditch effort to prove to myself that I do have control... but it's showing the opposite.
But maybe I'm just setting myself up for failure with my goals and expectations. To be healthier do I really need to go from 4700 calories a day to 1200? How are my body and mind going to react? Maybe instead of this drastic diet change I need to try a less drastic one. In the long run, the 1200 calorie diet will help me lose weight more quickly, but if I don't make it to the long run it certainly won't. But if I do a normal 2200 or so calorie/day diet it will still be an improvement and maybe I won't convince myself that I'm starving thus triggering the binge eating episodes.
Again, in the long run I won't see results as quickly, but it seems like a more doable option. I might actually be able to make it to the long run. In our society we are in love with quick fixes. But my condition wasn't a quick process and overcoming it won't be either.
So now what? I'm not sure... I think I need to go back to my SMART goals. The A stands for Attainable. I think that some of my goals are not-so-attainable, at least for me for right now. I need to reassess my journey; where I'm going and how I'm going to get there.
It's been a few days since my last update. Some people, sometimes including me, have wondered if I have completed or given up on my journey. I have not. I'm still trekking, but I'm realizing I have to make some adjustments.
Expectations. Expectations can be tough. Expectations can propel people, but sometimes they can be hinder. Right now because I'm not meeting my expectations I'm finding it hard to keep moving. The silly thing is even though I'm not meeting my (perhaps unrealistic) expectations I'm still making good progress. I have lost 5 pounds in the past week and I'm sticking to my workout routine (C25K). I've had victories, but I'm not meeting my expectations...
So what are my expectations? Well, I guess the easy answer to this are my stated goals. But it's not quite that easy... I guess one way to put it is that I have secret goals or secret expectations: Perfection. Newsflash: I'M NOT PERFECT! So despite doing well on some of my goals, and sometimes falling short on others I get discouraged and want to stop moving. It's not like I have consciously set these goals, but I still expect myself to live up to my stated goals perfectly. But I am not.
Sometimes my journey seems like I've stated that I'm going to walk to the moon, or some other ridiculous goal. Maybe walking to the moon is possible, but I certainly don't know how to do it, and for me it is impossible. But is eating well and exercising for me really equivalent to walking to the moon? Perhaps not, but sometimes it sure feels like it.
Last time I was serious about living a healthier lifestyle and followed through for about 9 days I learned something about myself. I learned that I have an eating disorder. I am a compulsive over-eater or binge eater. I didn't even know this was a real thing until I started trying to figure out why I was doing what I was doing: Eating enormous meals - eating until I was painfully full - almost daily. We're talking about meals of up to 4700 calories! Almost in one sitting, and of course always alone... I would do this one day and then be in pain and say to myself that I would never do it again... and then I would do it the next day. I discovered what is known as Compulsive Overeating or Binge Eating. The symptoms I found are as follows and come from nationaleatingdisorders.org:
Binge eating disorder is a severe, life-threatening disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of compulsive overeating or binge eating. In binge eating disorder, the purging in an attempt to prevent weight gain that is characteristic of bulimia nervosa is absent.
Behavioral Characteristics:
-Recurrent episodes of binge eatingThis describes me
-Eating much more rapidly than normal
-A sense of lack of control over eating during binge episodes
-Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry
-Hoarding food
-Hiding food and eating in secret; e.g., eating alone or in the car, hiding wrappers
-Eating until feeling uncomfortably full
-Eating throughout the day with no planned mealtimes
In my research I learned that treating eating disorders is most effective when coupled with counseling. But sometimes I think it just comes down to self-control issues. I think I should be able to control myself, but I'm continuing to prove to myself that this isn't the case. I guess this "journey" is a last ditch effort to prove to myself that I do have control... but it's showing the opposite.
But maybe I'm just setting myself up for failure with my goals and expectations. To be healthier do I really need to go from 4700 calories a day to 1200? How are my body and mind going to react? Maybe instead of this drastic diet change I need to try a less drastic one. In the long run, the 1200 calorie diet will help me lose weight more quickly, but if I don't make it to the long run it certainly won't. But if I do a normal 2200 or so calorie/day diet it will still be an improvement and maybe I won't convince myself that I'm starving thus triggering the binge eating episodes.
Again, in the long run I won't see results as quickly, but it seems like a more doable option. I might actually be able to make it to the long run. In our society we are in love with quick fixes. But my condition wasn't a quick process and overcoming it won't be either.
So now what? I'm not sure... I think I need to go back to my SMART goals. The A stands for Attainable. I think that some of my goals are not-so-attainable, at least for me for right now. I need to reassess my journey; where I'm going and how I'm going to get there.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Success Despite Failures
The question is not, "Am I going to fail?" but, "When I fail what am I going to do about it?"
I think what defines successful people is what they do when they fail; how they recover from their mistakes. Because everyone fails and we can let those failures lead to more failures (I have a lot of experience with this) or we can brush it off and step it up.
I knew holidays were hard. People reminded me they would be hard. I got specific encouragement because of the holiday. It was still hard. And I didn't achieve some of my goals.
I think that this is a good place to insert the wise counsel of my amazing health coach, Kristy. She sent me an email a couple days ago that said:
I have walked/run over 15 miles this week!
I have completed all 3 Week 1 workouts of Couch to 5K!
I have kept this blog updated for about a week so far!
I have managed to stay steady through most of the temptation that I have faced!
I have lost over 3 pounds this week!
I am encouraging and inspiring others!
I made this and it was delicious!
There are others that I'm sure I'm just not thinking of right now. The point is that I got knocked down, but I didn't stay down for the count. And that in itself is improvement from last attempt...
I think what defines successful people is what they do when they fail; how they recover from their mistakes. Because everyone fails and we can let those failures lead to more failures (I have a lot of experience with this) or we can brush it off and step it up.
I knew holidays were hard. People reminded me they would be hard. I got specific encouragement because of the holiday. It was still hard. And I didn't achieve some of my goals.
I think that this is a good place to insert the wise counsel of my amazing health coach, Kristy. She sent me an email a couple days ago that said:
"Remember that our program is about LIFE CHANGES! That is not a temporary fix! It is all about making conscious choices and feeling good about yourself!
"What I mean by this: It is completely possible for you to choose to have some ice-cream and you don’t have to feel bad or guilty about it. As long as it is a conscious choice and it fits in with your goals! If your goal is to stay 100% on the 5&1 plan. Then of course ice cream doesn't fit in with that goal.
"I am realizing that so often we are focused on how far we have to go, that we forget to acknowledge and appreciate how far we have come! I hope that you are doing that for yourself too!
"Being healthy is about mind, body and spirit! We are making changes! And change takes time and effort! GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT!"In that spirit, I want to celebrate some of the successes that I've had thus far on my journey. These are in no particular order.
I have walked/run over 15 miles this week!
I have completed all 3 Week 1 workouts of Couch to 5K!
I have kept this blog updated for about a week so far!
I have managed to stay steady through most of the temptation that I have faced!
I have lost over 3 pounds this week!
I am encouraging and inspiring others!
I made this and it was delicious!
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Getting Bored and Day 4
As I mentioned in my first blog, the Take Shape For Life (TSFL) is a healthy lifestyle program that I use before and saw some success. I eventually let myself give up and I went off the program. It involves eating 5 replacement meals a day and one "Lean and Green" meal which is a serving of a lean(ish) protein and 3 servings of low to lower carb veggies. It can be a pretty decent meal. Yet, one thing I've noticed is that I easily get in to routines with food prep. In other words, most of my lean and green meals were consisting of Chicken or Salmon. I liked the things that I made, but it got boring pretty quickly which made it harder to stay on the program.
So this time around I've made a decision to change how I do things. I don't want to have the same protein two days in a row, just to help me switch things up and keep it a bit more exciting. I'm also using the cookbook that I got from TSFL that has meals and recipes in it. So, I've started looking through the book in the morning to decide what I'll have that night for dinner. Yesterday it yielded zucchini fritters and today it has brought me this:
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So this time around I've made a decision to change how I do things. I don't want to have the same protein two days in a row, just to help me switch things up and keep it a bit more exciting. I'm also using the cookbook that I got from TSFL that has meals and recipes in it. So, I've started looking through the book in the morning to decide what I'll have that night for dinner. Yesterday it yielded zucchini fritters and today it has brought me this:
Asparagus Salad with fresh tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, fresh basil, fresh ground pepper, and lite balsamic dressing, with a side of sugar-free orange jell-o. It was pretty amazing.
This morning I continued my C25K. Week 1 Day 2 was a lot easier than W1D1. Part of that was probably because I wasn't by myself when I did it. Having someone to workout with helps a lot. I did the workout today with my sister, Sue. I'm not sure that it was really a workout for her (she was able to talk in a normal voice after the running part and I was gasping for air to respond), but it really helped me. Somehow I didn't end the workout on my RunKeeper app until I had driven home, so I had to delete it so it wouldn't mess up my numbers, but we did end up going about 2.5 miles.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Day 3
Today was the hardest day for me so far. Last time I started TSFL and did it for 9 days the first few days were hard, but they weren't accompanied with headaches like this time. I did an internet search and learned that it's not uncommon for people starting out on TSFL to have headaches the first 2-3 days. I hope that I move past that stage soon...
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Workout:
The C25K program is designed to be done 3 times per week, so today was an off day for that, but I still wanted to walk. I figured that I could still use walking to train for a 5K, so yesterday I walked a 5K. I want to get used to going the distance, even if it's just walking to begin with.
Dinner:
I have a TSFL cookbook and I wanted to try something new from it. Most of the time for dinner it seems like I do either fish or chicken and I wanted to switch it up. Today I decided on Zucchini Fritters. I was excited about them to begin with, but then as I was making them I was afraid I was going to hate them. They actually turned out to be pretty good. Basically they're zucchini, onion, eggs, and seasoning (garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper)
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Mind Games and Day 2
In my opinion, or at least for me, changing my lifestyle from one of frequent overeating and minimal physical activity to one of making appropriate and healthy food choices and daily physical activity is mostly a mental challenge. It's a mind game. For me it comes down to willpower. I can do it, but will I allow myself to do it?
I'm no poet. But as I was thinking about mental challenge several weeks ago some thoughts started to form and I wrote them down. Here are my thoughts in Poem form:
Eating well is a total mind game. I am used to eating whatever I want whenever I want. My body has also gotten used to it. It's almost as if when I don't feel full I feel hungry. It makes it harder to eat well and to eat appropriate amounts of food.
Last night the most difficult time of the day, the time that I wanted to eat extra food the most, was the time between my last meal (a small granola type bar) and the time I went to bed. I had to consciously talk mybody mind out of being hungry. I knew I didn't need to eat I only wanted to eat. I successfully went to bed without eating other food. When I woke up I felt great. I wasn't starving. I wasn't even particularly hungry. I won the mental battle.
Tonight I had a lovely meal of Chicken, freshly cooked green beans, quick pickle cucumbers (one of my favs), and fresh spinach. The spinach kind of tasted usually strange, but everything else was amazing. I think the chicken was my favorite part. I seasoned it with non-fat Italian dressing, garlic powder, onion powder, Italian seasoning, and red pepper flakes. I'm hoping to prove to myself that eating healthy tasty food is possible.
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I'm no poet. But as I was thinking about mental challenge several weeks ago some thoughts started to form and I wrote them down. Here are my thoughts in Poem form:
The Wanderer’s Prayer
(From a white male’s perspective)
(From a white male’s perspective)
I. I Will. I Will What? Not, I Will Do What? But, I Will
That.
Will. The only thing
we truly possess. The only thing we can
truly give.
The only true power is willpower.
There is no poor, smart, lucky; no unlucky, rich,
stupid. Only those Who Will and those
Who Will Not.
We’re all given the same currency in life. Time.
24 hours. What will you with
yours? What Will You? Will You? You?
I'm not sure that that is particularly meaningful to others, but I think that it really shows were I struggle -- Willpower. I know that I am capable of so much if I would just will it to be. I need to take control and do it. That's precisely why I've created this blog; It helps me to take control and to do.
Day 2 Update:
Today I started the Couch to 5k, or C25K. I downloaded this app on my phone. According to the program, today was week 1 day 1. Today's workout consisted of a brisk 5 minute warm up walk, 8 sets of run(ahem, jog) for 60 seconds followed by 90 seconds of walking, and concluded with a 5 minute cool down walk. In all it was a 30 minute workout. The app keeps time of each segment and there's a chime and voiced instruction for when each transition is to be made.
It was both harder and easier than I thought it would be. I started off with my warm up walk. No problems there. Then came my first 60 seconds of running. I Thought I Was Going To Die. Oh my gosh, I knew I was out of shape, but dang! I started thinking to myself, "I don't think I can do this. Maybe I'll only do half of the first day's workout." But I kept pushing myself. Each time I thought I could run no farther the chime sounded and the 90 seconds of walking was just what I needed. By the time those 90 seconds were up I was ready to run again. I completed 4 of the 8 sets and I was tired, but I knew that I was half way done. I told myself that I was capable of finishing the workout. It was hard, tiring, and it totally pushed me, but I completed it! It felt really good to be able to do it. Afterwards I thought, "That wasn't so bad..." I allowed my mind to tell my body what I was able to do and I believed it. I feel that my mental strength increased as much as, if not more than, my physical strength did through that workout.
Eating well is a total mind game. I am used to eating whatever I want whenever I want. My body has also gotten used to it. It's almost as if when I don't feel full I feel hungry. It makes it harder to eat well and to eat appropriate amounts of food.
Last night the most difficult time of the day, the time that I wanted to eat extra food the most, was the time between my last meal (a small granola type bar) and the time I went to bed. I had to consciously talk my
Tonight I had a lovely meal of Chicken, freshly cooked green beans, quick pickle cucumbers (one of my favs), and fresh spinach. The spinach kind of tasted usually strange, but everything else was amazing. I think the chicken was my favorite part. I seasoned it with non-fat Italian dressing, garlic powder, onion powder, Italian seasoning, and red pepper flakes. I'm hoping to prove to myself that eating healthy tasty food is possible.
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